The Story behind the Ministry of Rum

[Edward Hamilton]

Cruzan is the reason I'm doing this today. When I get the story written, and the statute of limitations is complete, I'll post it.

[RobertBurr]

My appetite now whet with anticipation, I cannot wait to her the story of how Ed begins his career as a rum runner... excuse me I mean rum drinker... pardon me I mean rum expert based on a twist of fate, a broken compass, a mysterious woman, an over-eager IRS agent and three cases of Cruzan rum.

Am I close?

[angelsword]

Originally Posted by Edward Hamilton

Cruzan is the reason I'm doing this today. When I get the story written, and the statute of limitations is complete, I'll post it.

I'll bet that the truth is more intersting than any story we could concoct.

[Dood]

Originally Posted by RobertBurr

My appetite now whet with anticipation, I cannot wait to her the story of how Ed begins his career as a rum runner... excuse me I mean rum drinker... pardon me I mean rum expert based on a twist of fate, a broken compass, a mysterious woman, an over-eager IRS agent and three cases of Cruzan rum.

Am I close?

I think you're forgetting the water buffalo, the German U-Boat wreck, and the Kentucky Fried Parrot...

[angelsword]

Originally Posted by angelsword

I'll bet that the truth is more interesting than any story we could concoct.

Okay maybe not. The girl was the half Indian illegitimate daughter of the exiled president of Guatemala. She was suffering from terminal cancer and staying on your boat while recuperating from an abusive relationship with a duplicitous Italian diplomat. The U-boat that you were attempting to salvage carried $10 billion in uncut diamonds salvaged illegally from a 18th century East India merchantman that went down in storm with all hands off the coast of Madagascar. You found the U-boat in the Caribbean (where the Nazis were trying to sell the diamonds in Panama) when you fell off the yacht while dizzy from excessive rum that had been forced upon you by...

[Tiare]

..by the obeah witchdoctor from the hidden grotto in the misty mountains of Maroonland in Xaymaca, who knew how to mix potions..
And then Ed escaped by the help of a rum barrel and a pelican and managed to swim to...

[Hank Koestner]

St. Thomas, as Ed opened his eyes after being washed up on the beach with the help of a mermaid, three beautiful island girls were standing above him with a bottle of Cruzan...........

[Edward Hamilton]

The story is tame compared to the speculation but it does involve some basic economic theorems. But that's another story.

[Rum Runner]

Originally Posted by Edward Hamilton

The story is tame compared to the speculation but it does involve some basic economic theorems. But that's another story.

Your response is drier than a Murray McDavid Rum..Perfect!

[RobertBurr]

Wheras Rum X is worth $Z on Island Q during the waxing gibbous phase of the full moon, and the prevailing winds in the month of J oppose tidal movements G at the point of K straights, directing a sailboat of length XM to travel in the direction of PR for a fortnight, where small arms and ammunition are banned by the local BR raising their perceived value to $M just as the RR is crossing the arch of FM providing an apparent random juxtaposition of interaction with EH well laden with HPR from STV with minimal need for CHC, taking into account the repellant factors of CS; ergo "a deal that could not be refused" is considered the best possible outcome of potential adverse options otherwise available, with a side order of highly compressed green leafy organic vegative compound containing OTC THC with a DBA and LTD of PCM 16 bit ASA 100 model XJ12 by the DEA in conjunction with the IRS, CIA and NSA in the outer orbit of hydro-oxy isotope attracted to an organic compound whose molecule contains one or more hydroxyl groups attached to a carbon atom (C2H5OH), sometimes referred to as "grog."

That should get the reaction started, but I have not figured out how to keep it going in perpetuity. It may involve writing books and talking a blue streak while metabolising saccharomytic compounds from a small beaker diluted by citric acid and ethanol.

Oh my goodness Vern, after 50 posts on this forum I've become a "senior member" and am now hoping for a discount at IHOP.